20 July 2017

Grief: First & Last

I've been thinking a lot lately about all the first's and last's we experience when losing someone we love. I think they're something we think about and all experience regardless of the relationship that we had with those we've lost.

Grief is weird, uncontrollable and sometimes uncomfortable. All the first's and last's I've experienced over the last 6 months, thinking about them breaks my heart but I wanted to make this post to create an awareness to the fact that one day the grief doesn't just end. Grief and loss is something we all experience over our lifetimes.

The last time I told you I loved you. 
The last time I spoke you. 
The last time I laughed with you. 
The last time I received a birthday card from you. 
The last time I hugged you.
The last time I taught you something new. 
The last time you taught me something. 
The last time I spoke to you on the phone. 
The last time I checked your mail for you. 
The last time I sat in your garden. 
The last time I slept in your cold, blue spare bedroom. 
The last time I walked down your driveway. 

Your first birthday without you here.
The first birthday I've had without you around. 
The first time I've seen someone on life support. 
The first time I was with someone take their last breath. 
The first time I really had to say goodbye. 
For the first time I know what it feels like to be heart broken. 
The first time being in your house without you there. 
The first time I helped myself to a drink or food in your cupboard. 

B x

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